Humans As Social Animals

Deep down, we all have that desire to be accepted... I know people that cannot breathe, think or take a step without thinking of "what the society would say"

Ever wondered why?

When humans are born , we are born into a society.  The society could include our parents, extended relatives, the church, the school and the community we live in. However, the society already has names and opinions for everything around us.

You hear someone calling a spoon - spoon, that's why it is a spoon to you. If the spoon had been called a 'fork' , a spoon would have totally become a fork also. The society has their own culture,their rules and regulations and their beliefs. And of course we are expected to learn them without being given the chance to have our own opinion.

That is the beginning of domestication.

We are expected to do this and to do that, we are expected to conform. Thus when we do the "acceptable" thing, we are often rewarded. And when we don't,well you can guess...

"Out of fear of being punished and fear of not getting a reward, we start trying to please other people" 

                                        ~Don Miguel

When we start trying to please other people, we try to fit in with this "image of perfection" created by the society.

A good wife must do this, a good wife must do that.

We slowly start to lose ourselves;our own free will and our own opinions. We don't realize when our society's definition of wrong and right becomes ours too. 

There is a question here: If you had been raised under the Taliban's rules, even you will think it is normal for girls not to go to school. For your mothers to not be able to speak unless spoken to. To not be able to laugh in public... For your movement, your sister's movements or your mother's movements to be completely restricted.

Our society's definition of beautiful and ugly becomes ours too.

It doesn't stop there though. Not at all.

In order to be accepted by the society or fit into the image created by the society... People start to pretend that they are someone they are not... 

But deep down,our mind recognizes that we are not being ourselves hence the mind becomes ill (depression, anxiety, bipolar disorders). 

Arising from the fact that people cannot be who they are for fear of judgement by the society.

That's why even when we know that something is wrong deep down, we ignore it because" what would the society think"...

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says "We are all social beings. We internalize our ideas from socialization"

However, we should realize that although our society defines what is wrong or right. Our society is not always right. In Igbo culture, about 100 years ago, twins were killed because they were considered as evil omen. However nowadays, it is unheard of....

If you had been born one hundred years ago, you would probably think the same way.

Humans evolve, cultures evolve and so does technology... One day, the very thing the society thinks is wrong may become right and that which they think is right may become wrong... Pay attention to your own opinions instead